.....Cycle Day 16.....
When I was 11 years old I found a blue book in my parents house titled: Period. I don't remember much about the book now as it has been so many years since I read it.... But I do remember that A. It was before my first ever period. And B. The fear it brought me of a visit to "one of those doctors".
The biggest thing I remember is where a girl of about 16 or so starts her first period. She was told that after she started her first period she needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. She went by herself to her appointment having no idea what to expect. She was very embarrassed and wished she had brought someone along with her. After I read the book I quickly put it back where I found it hoping not to talk to mom about what I read. Why couldn't I have been a kid full of questions? Probably would have been helpful to have been....Anyways... I started my first period when I was almost 12 with many fears of going to the doctor. Mom never mentioned taking me... I surely didn't mention it... and.. I never went. Now 11 years later the anticipation had built up sooo much... Well I was a nervous wreck with tears running down my face before the doctor even entered the room. I wish that was an exaggeration... but it's not.
As I sat on the table waiting, in just a gown and socks, I had tissues in my hand and my husband standing beside me stroking my hair telling me he'd take me out for ice-cream when it was all over. I have the best husband ever! Then I didn't know if I was crying more from nerves or from happiness that Jared is so good to me. Whichever it was, I was still crying when the doctor came in.
I had a wonderful understanding doctor! Jared and I both really liked her. She was very nice. She looked through allllll my many notes and made comments about several of them. When she did my breast exam she looked me in the eye the entire time and talked to me while she did it. I don't remember what she said, but it helped me ignore what was going on.
The pelvic exam was done and over with quickly, but it is not something I'd like to experience again any time soon. When I was told to separate my knees.... The waterworks started out fresh all over again. I was handed more tissues. The nurse had to help me in separating my knees... Jared held my hand and I was told several times to keep breathing........ And then it was over.
My voice quavered and I shook with nerves the rest of the appointment... But I survived! After all was said and done she told us "You two are both young and healthy. But after 3 years of unprotected intercourse, something must be up." She told us which tests she recommends we take, and that if everything comes back normal from those we'll see about the next step. She was sweet and encouraging. And we left feeling like she genuinely wanted to help us.
On another note, my husband was AMAZING that day. We went to town early and he took me out for pizza! And then to one of my favorite clothing stores (Cato). I got an awesome deal on a pretty purple shirt there! And when I came out of the dressing room, the workers there complemented me on how wonderfully patient my husband was being. I love him! After my appointment he took me out for ice-cream! And then we went to Hastings. And after that to the pet store where we saw many things we dreamed to buy our animals. lol. And we got to see several soft, sweet, playful kitties!
I went home with tears for how wonderful my husband is to me. I am such an amazingly blessed girl to have him by my side. <3