There's this thing I envy I've heard people say,
that their family is "complete".
But there's this thought that often rings through my head,
forever leaving mine with an empty seat: I want a baby.
Every time my heart feels sad,
Every time it's despairingly heavy,
Every time depression leans on me,
I think one thing: I want a baby.
I'll think I'm satisfied with what I have,
That I'm content with my kids,
That it doesn't matter my womb or not,
And then... this: I want a baby.
The thought plagues me,
Wish it would go away.
"The barren womb is never satisfied"
I have this fear that it'll stay.
I knew one would never be enough,
but I thought two could be,
now three sounds pretty good.
*Sigh* How can I want a baby?
It's not fair.
Not fair that my womb stays bare.
I try so hard to simply not care.
And then..... "I want a baby"
No, it's not true!
I argue with myself again, and again, and again.
God help me out!
Aren't You my friend?
Is it because my womb's empty?
Or that You have another for my arms?
Or is it Satan poking at me,
wanting to cause me more harm?
Again I think: ... I want a baby.......
