And I don't feel secure in saying it yet. James has been back three weeks, but the paperwork isn't done yet. According to our local office? He's not here. I'm glad we haven't had to wait another three weeks for him to be placed with us, I am, I really am, but sometimes I still worry........
Think that's why I hadn't written about it yet. There's just this part of me that's afraid he'll leave again. Twice I thought he was here to stay forever, and twice I was wrong. This time... I just... is he really? I want to sit back and relax until adoption day gets here. Just... chill. Pretend for a while that these boys are both MY boys and forget the whole "foster" or "adopted" aspect of it all. Don't get me wrong, I never plan to keep how the boys came to be a part of our family a secret. But for everyday life? I'd like to just be a "normal" family (whatever that is). I just... *sigh*... I'm ready for this stuff to be over.
