Feeling numb, I'm in a fog.
The life around disappear.
I search about aimlessly wandering,
But really, I'd rather stay here.
This hopelessness, this uncaring,
It's depressing, but I hold to it so slight.
I'm in the dark, feeling like I don't exist.
And yet, I fear the light.
How did I get here? I don't really know.
How will I leave? I'll have to want to go.
Down in a hole, trapped and sufficating,
My soul is burried deep.
My consciousness has been muted,
In my mind sits it's empty seat.
To come back to reality...
Means to care again once more.
I'd welcome the joys of life...
But my fears will scream like before!
I'm terrified! of the thoughts that await.
So I hide, behind a locked gate.
If I can hold out,
For just a little more time.
Maybe those thoughts,
Will just leave me behind.
-Suzanna 9/17/11