Skeptic 9/10/18
Are You really there?
Or am I simply
speaking to the air?
It's good to get it out.
It's nice to let it go.
It's all so therapeutic,
but how will I ever know?
Is it more than just words?
Does it mean anything?
I like to put them in song,
do You hear what I sing?
I sing through the frustration.
I voice out my fears.
But am I calming down myself,
or is it something that You hear?
I've gone through the emotions,
but they never quite hit home.
I know this simply because,
I walk away alone.
Now maybe that's not true.
Maybe I really laid it at Your feet.
But that doesn't change the lack of "presence"
I feel from my seat.
I tell myself what I hear,
that it's all true.
The miracles, the visions, the lives changed,
that that's all You.
I go home and I pray.
I go home and I sing.
But even the secular believe
what positive affirmations can bring.
God! Help me!!!
Am I talking to the air?!?
The skeptic that's inside me
always doubts that You're there.
I've heard more than once,
as others have prayed over me,
that my view is from You,
and yet this is what I see.
God?......
......I feel lonely.
Doubting Doubts 9/11/18
so so often.
I sing a song of praise,
then think it a positive affirmation.
So what?
Maybe I am talking to myself.
But why should I stop,
when I know that it helps?
So I'll keep on singing,
and I'll say a prayer.
Then I'll sit and wonder,
if You're really there.
People talk of loving You,
The Spirit and Your Son.
But my relationship with You,
I feel has barely begun.
I'm happy to say thank you.
I love all that You have made.
I can truly stand in awe,
but I'm scared of the grave.
Because I can't say I love You,
when I doubt that You're real.
I'm sorry that my faith is based,
so much on how I feel.
The odd thing is...
I think You really love me.
So I'll try to doubt my doubts,
while I figure out what I believe.
Remember When? 9/13/18
can you remember when,
things all just lined up?
Do you remember then?
Do you remember that time,
I stopped you in your tracks,
when I pointed out to you,
all the love that you lacked?
Do you remember,
being angry with Me,
for the pain that you felt,
when someone had to leave?
And can you remember,
the rainbow on that day,
when you asked if it was a promise,
and that's what I had to say?
Child. Listen.
Nothing's changed.
You didn't have Me figured out then,
and that's exactly the same.
But you've stopped looking;
you've closed your eyes.
I've still got rainbows for you,
but you must look at the sky.
I'm trying to speak to you,
but you used to strain your ears.
It's a lot harder to listen,
when you're not trying to hear.
Oh my dear child,
My presence is all around.
But you must start seeking again,
if you want Me to be found.
