Yesterday I was a mess after receiving news that the Children's Home we were filling out tons of paperwork to become foster parents through won't support us because we don't attend one of the churches that support them. Since we've known several people who have worked at the Children's Home down there, we had plenty of connections, and she assumed we went to the same church. However we don't. So as frustrating as that is, and the days wasted filling out papers that are no longer any good.... It's time to move on. So I've sent an inquiry to our state's DCFS (Division of Children
and Family Services) for foster/adoption, and now we sit and wait their reply.
I was a kind of upset yesterday that I don't know quite how to explain. I was sad, and frustrated, and probably a little mad too. I was heartbroken, but didn't want to be comforted. My husband came home for lunch and even through I was crying, I didn't want a hug. I felt like he was hugging me out of pity. I didn't want pity, I wanted revenge!!! Ok so not revenge. I don't know what I wanted. It just wasn't fair, and we were stuck back at square one. We had our first foster training meeting set for April 12th! We had a mile high stack of paperwork we were about ready to send! I had even started on my autobiography. Well I'll keep the work I did on my autobiography, but the rest is all trash, it's all something to just toss behind us and forget. I was annoyed and frustrated and the tears just kept flowing. I was washing dishes with a vengeance! I tend to do that when I'm mad and stewing over something, it's probably not the healthiest thing... My mom does that too. When we get angry and don't feel like talking, we clean. We go into a cleaning frenzy that is usually focused on the dishes. Now if I'm in the "mood" to clean, I'll be playing music or something, I'll be cheery. Anyways....
I've got completely sidetracked. Today is a new day! Fresh start! Today I'm donating blood (which I really dislike doing, but do it anyway). Tonight, if I feel up to it, me and Jared are going to a dance! I haven't been to a dance in a very long time and it sounds like fun, though I wish it wasn't a casual dance, I'd love an excuse to dress up. Today is payday!! Well not for me since I'm just a house wife now, but it's Jared's payday. Today is the first day of IComLeavWe! Oh yeah, I need to go comment on people's blogs. Today is sounding pretty full, so I probably ought to get started on it. Later! =)