We've all heard it said that we're not to compare ourselves to others. We compare when we are envious. We compare when we are bragging and boasting. We compare when we are having our little pity parties more often then we'd like to admit. Know what? We shouldn't compare ourselves to others.
There is a couple I know, we'll call them Tammy and Tom. Jared used to work with Tom and has really seen him grow up over the years. When Tammy and Tom got married we couldn't have been happier for them. We became friends on Facebook and felt we'd love to spend time with them in real life because the things they posted on there made us like the couple quite a bit. My pregnancy radar turned on as I kept my ears perked for any announcements, after a year none had come. Found out from Tammy they were also seeking a pregnancy which wasn't happening. Of course then I wanted to snatch up their friendship even more because they were in the same boat as us and who knows how long that would last. After 2 years of marriage something changed. They started having marital problems. She got pregnant! But Tom wasn't excited about the pregnancy. Their posts on facebook got worse and worse and I had to unfriend them because I didn't care to read anything they shared. She didn't announce her pregnancy until she was 3 months along, did the pregnancy start the conflict between them? Is it because of the pregnancy that their posts on Facebook changed for the worse? Though I was excited for Tammy and Tom when I heard Tammy was expecting a child... Though of course I was a bit envious and sad because I wished it had been me... If the pregnancy caused the hardships between them and if a pregnancy could affect Jared and I in any similar way, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I would rather never be pregnant than for my husband to see the world as Tom does right now. I want to be devoted to my husband always and not put him down. And when I get pregnant I don't want him to be left out in the joy it brings.
Though you shouldn't compare yourselves to others, you also shouldn't
compare yourself to... yourself? Comparing yourself to your failed
dreams. Comparing your age to what you thought life would be like by
now. Or even compare yourself to who you once were and still wish
sometimes you could be. Does it really do anybody any good? Does it do
yourself any good? Whether I'm comparing myself to myself, or myself to
others, I am wasting time in the here and now not enjoying what God has
blessed me with today.
Though part of me hurts to say it, I've
actually been grateful this summer that I don't have children. I have
gone on so many trips this year that would have been made more difficult
with kids, and some may not have even been possible with a young one in
tow. Only God knows when circumstances will change and we'll have a
child attached to our side. We need to enjoy the time God has blessed us
with now.
My dear sister pointed out to me that I have a tendency
to want to live in the past. I blame this on having a poor memory. I
fear if I don't cling to the past I'll lose something precious. But the
flip side of that is the more I cling to my old memories the less I am
making new ones now. It is holding me back. I find myself in the present
stuck behind a camera trying to save what is happening to look back on
and enjoy later, I don't want to forget a thing! But yet I'm not
experiancing what is happening now to the fullest seeing it through my
camera lense. It hurts for me to delete text messages because so many
mean so much to me! But my inbox always telling me it's full hinders me
from new conversations that could mean even more. I wonder so much if my
siblings saw me as a good big sister while I was living at home when I
shouldn't worry about that and focus on being a good big sister now that
I'm not. And though there are people who were once great friends of
mine, I need to let them go now that they are not.
Lord I want to be the best I can be today, help me plz
