Are You A Jonah?

"...Praise the Lord, for His mercy endures forever." (2 Chronicles 20:21)

Let us not be like Jonah resenting God's mercy towards others. Let us not sit waiting and watching for His fire and brimstone to fall already. We stop and look at history and declare that we know better, that they'll never change, that it'll just happen again, that surely God will see our side of things and give them what they deserve. 

"Jonah was a prophet (oo-oo)
but he really never got it (sad but true)
and if you watch him you can spot it (a-doodley-doo)
he did not get the point!

Compassion and mercy from me to you and you to me
exactly what God wants to see and yes that is the point!" 

Jonah Was A Prophet - Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie

The Lord knows if they will ever turn back to their old ways, but heaven forbid we be as Jonah waiting for their destruction to fall. They are living in a miracle right now having those kids back in their home. For real! The case started with wanting to terminate their parental rights from the get go, and now? Now they are looking to reinstate parental rights that were previously terminated. Absolute miracle where things are at today. I just read an article recently about birth mom and how she is a success story. They are doing well. Said she couldn't have made it this far without the support of her husband. They are doing well! It said she is an inspiration to others. Guys?!? Let us not be like Jonah! I feel I have encouraged others to be as Jonah over and over again because I myself resent the Lord's mercy sometimes for others, (for them). This is where it all started... 

The very first time I felt the Lord speak to me, it was His mercy for them, for her. I was Jonah!!! It was one of the worst days of my life. Coming home from a visit, Darrell 4 months old in the back seat of the car sleeping, me crying angry tears yelling at God. You see that day everything had changed. The visit before that one I was being encouraged to pick out a new name for him, (at the time his name was the same as his birth dad's). I was being encouraged to pick out a new name for him, because, you know, you'll get to adopt him. Mom had missed that visit, it was just me, the workers, Darrell's older siblings, and the mama who would be adopting them soon. (Dad hadn't been to any visits yet because he'd been in jail). Between that visit and the next, we had the name Darrell picked out. Loved it! Called him by it a few times. We're gonna get to adopt him! History says we will!!!

Fast forward to one of the worst days of my life... Birth mom is in rehab now and the office has turned on me. Today it was like everything I did was wrong, feeling yelled at because there's no socks on his feet. And mom? Everything she did was right. It was a long day. It was a horrible day. I was told at one point I could go home if I needed to, (I lived an hour and a half away), I felt sure if I left they'd find new placement for him closer to her. I felt completely replaceable.

Driving home from that visit, in the dark, him in the back seat, tears streaming down my face, I was angry. "No! Not this one!! This one is mine. She can have more kids!! No!!!" I was so mad. She can get her act together later, not right now, this one is mine. And then I felt like God slapped me across the face with four words, "I love her too."

Mercy guys. Praise the Lord for His mercy endures forever.

His words put a mirror in front of my face and showed me how ugly selfish I was. I wanted her to fail. I wanted her to lose her child. I wanted her to keep messing up, at least for a little while longer, so I could keep for myself what God had given her.

I once read a meme, I think on mom's page, many years later that said, "There are people holding their breath waiting for you to fail - let them suffocate." I read that and I never forgot it. Why do we allow ourselves to be those people?

You know when Jonah went to sit on that hill that they'd already repented and changed their ways? The people had repented in ashes and sackcloth. The whole city. Revival had happened, things were different now. Things were good. The city of Nineveh was probably the biggest success story Jonah had ever seen, yet Jonah sat and watched for God to give them what they deserved for their history. He sat and watched for them to change back to their old ways, for God to realize He'd made a mistake, that He should have just wiped them out to begin with. Jonah didn't want to go in the first place to Nineveh, why? Because he knew the Lord was merciful. He knew God would forgive them.

I was dead set against working reunification again, why? Because I feared the Lord's mercy towards them. I went to a woman's retreat and we sang this song, Spirit Lead Me, and it said, "When You say release I'm letting go." And I cried again angry tears telling God, "No! Don't You dare ask me to work reunification again." And He said let go.

They've been gone several months now, there was a success story written about them, and I'm struggling to not be a Jonah surrounded by Jonahs I feel I've encouraged to be Jonahs. There are so many things I don't understand, so many things that don't make sense to me, but I know God doesn't want me sitting, waiting, and watching for them to fail. Compassion, love, mercy; those are always the right answer. And that's the God who we serve.

"...Lean not on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)

"I don't trust my ways
I'm trading in my thoughts
I lay down everything
'Cause You're all that I want
I've landed on my knees
This is the cup You have for me
And even when it don't make sense
I wanna let Your Spirit lead

I'm done chasing feelings
Spirit lead me"

Spirit Lead Me - Influence Music and Michael Ketterer

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The book of Jonah is a short book in the Bible, only 4 chapters long. I encourage you to look it up and read it in its entirety. Here's some images of my own Bible, it takes up less than 2 full pages. Let us not be Jonahs.