Monday, January 23, 2012

Not ready yet?

....Cycle Day 25....
Do I feel like I'm not ready to be a mom?  No.  Do I feel like we can't handle being parents?  No.  Do I feel like we wouldn't be able to afford having a baby right now?  Well I question it...  Do I think Jared's not ready to be a dad?  No.  But are we truly ready?  I'd like to scream YES!  But...  I dunno.  I've been wondering about why, why is it that God hasn't given us children yet. 
    People who have gone through infertility and are now parents talk about how they can look back on things.  That they can see just how much it was God's perfect timing when they had their child.  They talk about the trials they went through, and how it made them stronger.  They look back and understand why they had to wait.  I want to understand now, not after it's all over.
   I'm a very understanding person.  Maybe if I can better understand why I'm not a mom yet...  Then maybe I can better cope with it.  Maybe somewhere in the mists I'll find peace in the waiting.