Started a bible study with friends last week. It is a dvd program about becoming a Romans 12 Christian. First lesson was about how God has a dream for you. Second lesson about surrendering to God your everything. By our next meeting I need to have surrendered? I was supposed to last night... But I just don't get it. When explained it sounds so simple! And I suppose it should be.... But I'm not finding that so. Because surrendering ALL... well that includes my hopes and dreams. Surrendering to God not only takes away the control I think I have and makes me feel venerable... But surrendering my dreams feels like I'm saying I don't care what happens to my future.
How do I surrender my hopes and dreams? Pray for whatever God has in mind for me no matter what it is? And yet pray that I will still have a child of my own?
God never promised me kids! What if it's not God's dream for me to have children? I have a desire in my heart to start my family... But I can't say if it was God who put that desire there, or if it was my mom and how I was raised. Either way the desire is very strong.
I'm probably making things a lot more complicated than it really is... I just don't get it.