Thursday, February 16, 2012

Affecting Jared

....Cycle Day 20....
Back in November we decided to quit "trying".  Just trying to relax while Jared gets used to his new work schedule... And while I do more research on how we can become more fertile.  Without actively trying to conceive... "baby-making" doesn't happen very often.  May sound like an odd prayer.. But I'm praying that God will just randomly put Jared "in the mood" when it's the right time of the month.  I mean... God can control our hormones.  He can tell us when it's time to conceive... Right??  So for now that is my prayer on that front.
    I know Jared wants to have a baby.  I know in my heart that he does.  And he's always there to comfort and support me...  But I never see the infertility stuff affect him at all.  Now with Cherish's new baby around, I can see it.  The way he wants to hold Elleanor every chance that he can get.  How quickly and eagerly he grabs the hand sanitizer so he can be first in line to hold that baby girl.  The way he stares down at her little face...  I can see just how much he wants a baby of his own.  It's sweet.  And it's completely heartbreaking.
    Jared hasn't really commented on the different things I've found out on ways to become more fertile.  But without asking him to... He was looking to see if our dinner had any trans fats in it.  And when we went to bed he asked if he should go ahead and turn off the electric blanket.  I think if I were to put a fertility diet in front of him he'd probably complain... But at this point he might be willing to try it.  And maybe... maybe he'd even be willing to turn his very hot shower water down a bit...