Maybe I've always been called to adopt and I'm just in denial... Who knows? But I've been having a LOT of thoughts about adoption since Monday. And my thoughts? You may not like.
You see on Monday not only did I have that long frustrating conversation.... But Blakely's Developmental Therapist said something that just kinda got me riled up. I've talked to her some before about how me and my husband have been trying for a child. And she has told me about how she was married and had been trying for 3 years before she got pregnant. So expecting her to understand I told her the conversation I was having. And you know what she told me? She did sound understanding and all.... But she told me how two months after they decided to adopt, boom, she was pregnant. You know what? Her daughter is about to turn 2 and she doesn't want to adopt anymore. In fact instead of adopting a child they are planning to try for another soon.
I think we infertiles have the wrong view on adoption. Ok so I can't speak for all of us, but I can speak for me as one. And the view is... We'll try and try and try to have our own and if all else fails, we can always adopt. Sound familiar? We save adoption as a last resort. Trust me I know the desire to have your own. The waiting and hoping finding out if he or she will look more like you or him. My dream is to have a little girl who looks like me, has his eyes, and his mom's strawberry blond hair. But how does my dream child fit in with adoption? I know! If I'm 40 and my dream baby still hasn't come... we'll adopt. Right?
I've mentioned before that I don't feel "called" to adopt. But what is that? Is there really a calling? People talk about being called to be a missionary. And sure there is a calling to do that... But the bible also says that we are all ministers. That we are all to go out into the world and preach the good news to all the nations. Just by being a Christian I am called to share what I know and believe.
You know what I know best? Raising children. Adoption isn't just a last resort!!! It is a mission field! Blakely's D.T. isn't the only one I've heard say that when they chose to adopt they got pregnant. The view on that can be that when they gave up, they relaxed, and that's when it happened. But what if God is choosing to bless that person because they went to do what He called them to do in the first place. What if this new found pregnancy they have isn't a replacement for the adopted child, but instead an added on blessing!
Have I been called to adopt? I don't know what that means. But I do know I have a new view on adoption. And here it is: If you are a Christian and God gives you your own biological child He knows you will do what you can to raise that child in a good Christian home. The children who are up for adoption my not get the opportunity to be raised knowing Jesus as their savior. If you choose to adopt but change your mind because you got something better.... You become a hindrance to whomever you would have adopted.
Adoption is taking in the hindered so they have a chance to be raised right.
Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
God called us into His family. He adopted us! If we have the desire to be a mother, and feel we could love another's child as our own.... Then maybe it's no longer just an option for us, but something God expects from us.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
I do not fear the lack of love I could show for another's child, but that if God were to bless me with my own... Would I love them the same? Would my own somehow mean a little more to me? And if he or she does.... would that be wrong? Lord I pray you will help me to understand what it is I should do, and that You would show me how it is I should do it.