I started my blogger a few years ago searching out people who would understand my desire to be a mom. I think I must be good luck for these lovely ladies, lol. Out of the five women I have followed diligently, three have already had their first child now. I am very happy for these women!!! I couldn't be more excited for them!!! I've followed a few other women here and there and am seeing them come closer and closer to their miracle babies as well. Again I am very excited for them, and I wish them the best!
However I am sad that I'm starting to feel alone again. I think it's time to start searching for some new infertile friends that are back where I am now. I worry that this process may start over and over, that I may continually need to find new bloggers to follow as all the ones I currently do pass me up and leave me behind.
Last night I was sitting watching my friend Cherish and her baby, Ellie, and I can picture 10 years from now with her having several kids running around and I'll...... I'll still just be watching. I hate that I'm happy when I hear she's not pregnant again yet. Her husband is already wanting her to have another one, he's been saying that since the day she had Ellie. They want a large family and would be happy to have one as early on as they can. Ellie is 9 months old now and I feel my chances of getting pregnant with my first before she becomes a sister dwindling away.
My friend who understands what I'm going through the best is not trying for a child. Instead she is dreaming of having a husband. Where I have never conceived, she has never had a boyfriend. The emotions tied to what we are both going through strangely are quite similar. Where I'm watching everyone I know have children, she sees everyone getting married. Will our times ever come??? Or will we always sit and watch on the sidelines? Her theory is that I will get pregnant when she gets a husband. We are probably both hoping that our side of that will be what comes first, but also that the other won't leave us behind.
Anyways.... It's no fun to feel alone. *hopes once again that she's pregnant now*