Monday, March 24, 2014

"I Smile"

At the end of my work out dvd is this song, I Smile by Kirk Franklin:


 Now where it says,
"(I'll be honest with you)
I almost gave up, but a power that I can't explain,
fell from heaven like a shower now.

(When I think how much better I'm gonna be when this is over)
I smile, even though I hurt see I smile,
I know God is working so I smile,
Even though I've been here for a while (what you do?)
I smile, smile..
it's so hard to look up when you've been down.
Sure would hate to see you give up now
You look so much better when you smile, so smile."

Usually I think about how it relates to the fact that I've just been doing a zumba? type workout and I feel so ready to give up because I'm tired and out of breath, but I shouldn't give up because I'm almost done anyway.  But today.... I heard that same chorus differently.  "Even though I've been here for a while" it's been over 5 years now since we wanted to start our family.  It hurts seeing other people have children and watching them grow up while you stay in the same place.  A lot of times infertility feels like the verse of this song crying out to God,

"Today's a new day, but there is no sunshine.
Nothing but clouds, and it's dark in my heart
and it feels like a cold night.
Today's a new day, where are my blue skies,
where is the love and the joy that you promised me
you tell me it's alright."


But you know what?  Just because we've been in this boat so long doesn't mean God has forgotten us.  It doesn't mean we should give up.  We should learn to praise God through our circumstance.  And smile!  Enjoy what God has given you today.  Live life to the fullest.  Today has a purpose, whether we can see it or not.  So smile, even if only barely. =)