"... No not for a while. She's still in school and working on her career. And, ya know, we're so young..."
I'm reading the Harry Potter books again right now and it was like a dementor had just floated into the room. I felt frozen on the spot, I started to sweat, I felt like all the happiness was being sucked out of me, and my brain was screaming for me to run. I couldn't handle it. I could not handle overhearing that conversation! If I didn't move soon I felt I'd crumple down on the floor and cry, I wanted to so bad.
Feeling I must look like a deer caught in the headlights and didn't want anyone asking if I was ok... I forced myself to get away from their words. Know how it feels walking through chest high water? That's how it felt walking away, each step slow, careful, and not the easiest thing in the world. And as I walked away I just wondered, why? Why do I feel this way? Why does it hurt so bad? Why why why???
There is nothing wrong with them waiting! Yes they are young! Nothing wrong with them being asked about kids. They look like us 6 years ago... wow we were young... just, you know, we never wanted to wait. And then it dawned on me, people quit asking us about kids a couple years ago. The man asking them, why wasn't he asking us? We're young too... we don't have kids... he doesn't know our story... People quit asking us a couple years ago. And though it hurts to get asked, it almost hurts more to not. Cause even though I can't see a pregnancy anywhere in my immediate future, I haven't given up hope that it'll ever happen. Have they?
The day I get pregnant will be a shock to the whole world, a happy shock but a shock none the less. Why? Because no one will be expecting a pregnancy announcement from us. They quit that a while ago.
