I get to watch another kid.
Ever heard people say "God has a sense of humor."? Well I'm kinda annoyed at Him for this one. Then again most people are probably kinda annoyed when they say that phrase. My prayer was me braking down being sad I don't have a kid. Actually it was about how I'd love to have a little one and be pregnant again. That I'd love to have more than one child of my own already. And then within 24 hours of my prayer.... My nannying will be taking on another child once or twice a week. God? God?! That is soooo NOT what I asked for! I want a child of my own... I was dreaming of telling my husband I'm pregnant. I was dreaming what it might be like to have a kid and be telling him I'm pregnant again. I was not dreaming about becoming a substitute mom again. There's a difference, real mom, substitute mom, real mom, substitute mom. I want the first to happen, not more of the latter.... bleh.
I'm not upset I get to start watching another child... not really... I'm just upset with the timing I suppose. It's a baby girl named Bailey who is 3 months old. I look forward to the challenge of chasing around walking Blakely who's now 2, while caring for a bottle feeding 3 month old Bailey. And it'll only be once or twice a week. It'll put my momin skillz to the test. lol. I'm a little nervous how it'll go. Back when I still lived with all my siblings it would have been easy. Back when I still worked at the daycare, no problem. Back when I was babysitting for the youth pastor's kids, great! But now I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to watching more than just one child. We shall see how it goes.
Turns out Bailey's mom has been asking my boss, Shannon, if I could watch her baby since August. A lot of stuff has been going on lately so Shannon just got around to mentioning it to me. Evidently they have tried putting Bailey in daycare, but all the daycares around here want her to pay for a full week, when she'd only be there once or twice. I can understand her wanting me to watch her. Plus if I had to have someone else watch my child while I worked (so totally plan to be a stay at home mom when the time comes!!!) I would much prefer a nanny over a daycare. Getting personal one on one care. In a place where I can dictate what I want them to do with my kid, when I want my child fed, when they get to nap, when and what drugs they might need, can ask about all their diapers and the person remember them all.... Yeah being a nanny is fun sometimes, lol. *sigh*
I so dream of the day when I have my own child and Jared and I are the highest authority over them. That anything I might want to do I don't have to go through their mom first, because I will be the mom. Sometimes I feel like I'm more Blakely's mom than her real mom is, nothing against Shannon, Shannon's a great mom, I'm just here all the time, ya know? All of Blakely's therapist go through me now. On the rare occasion that a therapist is here and Shannon and I are both here at the same time.... It feels awkward to me. Because the therapist might direct a question to mom, but look to me for the answer. I dunno. This Christmas the speech therapists gave me and Blakely both a gift. I was so excited! The speech therapists have become my friends, they are my favorite of all the therapy ladies that come during the week. But did I get a gift because I'm their friend? Or because I'm Blakely's nanny? And if it's because I'm Blakely's nanny, why didn't Blakely's mom get a gift from them too? I dunno...
So anyways.... I'm going to be a substitute mom again!!! I hope Blakely and Bailey get along well. Blakely and Bailey.... that'll be confusing.
