Monday, April 8, 2013
Can we skip mother's day?
Mother's Day is coming up..... Each year I dread that day more. I've got a friend who dreads Valentine's Day (aka singles awareness day) and she got to work that day. She even volunteered to work that night so her boss could go out that evening! There's a good part of me that is jealous that she was able to do that. Mother's Day is always on a Sunday so I don't have the option to hide behind my job to get through the day with little to no notice. Why is it that all churches have to make a big deal out of Mother's Day? You always end up with a themed sermon. Last year was very very difficult. (2012 mother's day post) I'm glad everyone at church decided to include me there at the end.... but it was also very emotional and... and... well I just don't know if I feel I can face all of them a year later on Mother's Day still not a mom. Sure there's still a chance I could be pregnant before that day gets here.... But you know what the chances of that happening just in time for that holiday are like.
As all the reminders out there about Mother's Day are reminding me that I'm not one, unfortunately everyone else is remembering that I am still not pregnant as well. 6 times already this year people have mentioned our lack of a child. If I haven't told you about all those yet... I'll fill you in later.
But to top that off there's this girl (12?) at church right now that really needs to learn some manners. Last month she poked me in the belly and asked if I'm pregnant. I calmly told her no and said I wish I was. We had a little conversation about how I want to be a mom but God hasn't given us a child yet. (I was in tears later because I thought I looked good that day, not like I had a preggo belly). Never did I think a couple weeks later she would do the same thing! Just yesterday she poked my belly and asked, baby? I glared at her and told her no. Not sure if she saw my glare, it just instinctively happened. And I'm not sure if I hope she saw me glare or not, but I sure pray she never asks me again. It really hurt my feelings...
Oh how I wish we could skip past Mother's Day already..... Planning to go camping that weekend whether my friends/family agree with me avoiding the holiday or not. Unless we can celebrate this year, then we might stick around. We shall see...
In other news, I am no longer watching that other little girl. I am happy I am no longer watching 6mo Bailey, takes away a lot of stress work was starting to give me. However it sounds like if her friend Britney is unable to watch her at some point, she'll probably be dropped on me. Hopefully that won't ever happen, a last minute you're-going-to-have-an-extra-kid-to-watch is never fun. We'll see how that works out too...
God has made me barren, but He has also made me a blessed mama. This blog is about my journey and the lessons I have learned, and am continuing to learn, in both those facts.