Suzanna isn't a very easy name for little ones to pronounce. In fact when I had my interview to work at a daycare several years back my new-to-be boss was quite excited to learn my nickname was Zanna. I would be introduced to the children as Miss Zanna, it would be much easier for the kids to pronounce. But whether a child calls me Zanna, Suzanna, Nana, or even when it comes out more of a Miss-Anna, it's something special when they say my name. My little brother Sean gave me a name before mom and dad! I was quite thrilled. He called me Nana, which later he learned was a better name for banana than it ever was for me, but still! I had a name before mom and dad did, that's pretty special. Sean was 3 when I moved out of the house and got married, it was harder to leave him than my parents or all the rest of my siblings. Anyways... I find that moment when a child can first say my name to be very special.
The last child I was a nanny for, Reed, was very close to being able to say my name before I left. Blakely who I'm about to stop being a nanny for now is very close. In fact Blakely has zillions of flashcards that she "reads". She has a good memory and knows what most of the words are, but her speaking hasn't come very far yet. When she sees the word "Suzanna" she says "nana" but she points to herself. She doesn't ever try to call me that, only when she sees the card. The connection hasn't been made. I grow so attached to children. I am already very attached to Blakely and part of me is happy that she doesn't call me by name yet. She runs up to me and gives me hugs, but she doesn't run up saying my name. She never talks about me. She... I don't know. I guess I feel there would be a stronger bond if she says my name than there is now. Like the reverse of naming an animal. (You know like when you take in a stray, or it's a farm animal that will later be butchered, or any other animal that you don't plan to keep as a pet. They say you shouldn't name them because then you'll become attached.) Anyways... I guess like the reverse of naming an animal, it'll be easier for me if I leave while I'm still nameless. Maybe Blakely won't become too attached to me when I know it was never in the plan for me to stay forever.
I'm not leaving being Blakely's nanny because she can't say my name yet! Please don't think that. It's just... there's a lot of things I've been thinking about with the whole thing and that's just one of the many things that have been running through my mind. *sigh* I'm torn between wanting her to miss me, and wanting her not to miss me.
