I have been super duper busy this summer. There was traveling to IL for a graduation party... Take a sibling home with me... Church camp (sibling went with)... Travel back to IL to return sibling and have Jared help his parents work on their back deck... Travel to OK to pick up friend, then TX with friend for wedding we were both in.... Travel to sister-in-law & her hubby's house for a mini vacation for the holiday... And now Horse Camp! I feel like I've probably missed something in there, it's been a crazy summer thus far.
One of the things I'm really noticing this summer is how much older I've gotten. Ok so not older but... I guess I mean I've noticed how much I've grown up. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not a teen. Even early twenties... I can't believe I've left those behind already! Everyone seems so YOUNG! People all tell me that looking young is a good thing and I'll appreciate it later and such but... But gosh I wish I looked my age (I'm 25).
At graduation party:
Girl comes up to me and asks who I am because I look so familiar. I tell her my name, she doesn't know me. I ask if she was in hair cutting class, nope. I ask about drama, she was in drama and she's sure that was it. And then.... I tell her I graduated in '07, what year did you graduate? Oh the cheery expression on her face quickly drained away as she realized just how much older than she I was... '14 was her answer and she then walked away. Funny yet true story.
At church camp:
I was given lots of guesses to my age at camp, none higher than 19.
Twice I was guessed at 14.
My name tag I wrote in big letters MRS before my name, but it didn't get noticed much.
Half the teens in the cabin I was a counselor in wanted to see my drivers license to prove my age.
And one adult really didn't help my case when she told the kids from her church that "...I know so-n-so and miss Suzanna aren't much older than you guys, but you really need to listen to them and respect them." So-n-so was the lady's daughter, a junior counselor, who by the way was only 17 years old. Clearly that adult didn't realize how old I was either. (psst I'm eight years older than your daughter).
There was this one moment at church camp that I overheard someone from our cabin telling someone else "She's 25... And has been married for 5 years and has no kids!" That moment stung a bit...
At the graduation party and at church camp I was surrounded by kids, and at each place I had at least one sibling around. I felt I could be myself. No holding back. If I wanted to clap my hands, sing at the top of my lungs, and move to the beat during worship service at church camp... You betcha I did. If I felt like participating in game time, why shouldn't I? I still took charge when it was needed. I kept an eye on the kids from my church and reprimanded when it was called for. I sat with different people during almost every meal at church camp. Maybe people thought I was young for how I acted, but I got the opportunity at church camp to bond with the kids from our church. The thing about being mature is knowing when it's ok to be immature. You can be a friend to a child and also be an adult they can get advice from. One kid, Dylan, after realizing how old I was told me "You're a fun adult." that was a good moment. Anyway....
I really noticed how much I've grown up when I went to Texas this last weekend. I've been friends with the bride, Kate, for a good 10 years and so has Tiffany who I met up with in OK before heading down. Tiffany is a year younger than me, and Kate a couple years younger than Tiff. Over the weekend we met several of Kate and Andy's friends and most of them are fresh out of highschool or in their early twenties. Somehow... I didn't quite fit in. When one friend (19 years old) says, "Wow.. you're like my brother's age, he's 26. Wow... that's so crazy..." it makes you feel old. When I look around and I see some of the young guys there... *how do I put this*... There was a couple of 20ish year old guys there that were really attractive, and yet I was not at all attracted. Why? Because they were boys! I realized when I married my husband he was a boy, but now? Now he's a man. I don't know when the change happened, but Jared and I have grown up a lot in the last 5 years. Most of my life my friends have all been younger than me, but this was one of the first times I felt like I was actually older than them. Oh well, they'll all catch up with me soon.
Remember when you were about mid-teens? When you were in the that awkward stage where half the time they lumped with the little kids and the other half you were lumped with the older ones? You often announced your age because you felt you weren't a kid anymore. Now I'm in a new awkward stage: mid-twenties. Half the time I'm lumped with the fresh-outta-highschool and college kids while the other half I'm lumped with the adults. I'm torn between hanging out with the young adults who are still in the dating game and the older adults who already have kids. I don't know where I fit in anymore... Maybe that's just it, I don't. Not right now anyway. I'm always announcing my age and how long I've been married trying to get myself moved up to being an older adult, but all that does is get them asking if I have kids, and we all know we don't like that question.
Today was day 2 out of 5 for horse camp. The children at camp all view me as an adult without me having to say anything about myself. A kid named Drew today asked me how many kids I have, sadly I had to answer I don't have any. The helpers at camp are all either young teens or older adults. Most of the older adults look at me as if I'm a teen, and the teens? Well today I mentioned the word MySpace and a couple of them started snickering, I picked up on it right away though "Heh heh, MySpace. I know, right? I'm so old." and I moved right along with what I was telling them.
This being stuck in middle of adult and young adult is about the only thing making me look forward to being 30 in the not too distant future, because hopefully by then this awkward stage will be over.
