Ecclesiastes 7:13-14 MEV
[13] Consider the work of God: Who is able to make straight what He has made crooked? [14] In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of distress consider: God has made the one as well as the other. For this reason man will not be able to understand anything that comes after him.
We had court in June, and again in July, and the two hearings couldn't have been any more different. The before, the during, and the after. And none of it makes sense, especially the afters.
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In June we went to court and expected stuff to HAPPEN! Seemed like everyone was gearing up for this particular hearing, had caseworker, adoption specialist, attorney ad litem, resource worker, everyone all checking in! We were told that the Judge wanted to see the kids for this one, so she saw them via zoom before the hearing happened so they wouldn't have to endure the lengthy time at the courthouse. Everyone making sure they're on top of their stuff just before court because this one? This one we were going to finally have the termination of parental rights (TPR) that they've been trying to do since December. It was finally going to be done and we'd be able to move forward with adoption. The adoption specialist even had me sign a piece of paper before court got here to say what their new names would be after adoption. She wanted to have it all ready! All ready to go! And then....
It didn't happen. I was trying so hard to convince myself that finally things were going to change, and then they didn't. In fact, not only did the TPR not happen, we were told it was EXPIRED! The paperwork for the TPR had expired. They literally could NOT do it that day because the paperwork for it to be done had expired. The paperwork would need to be re-filed so that it could be heard at a later date.
What?!?!? Everyone was making sure they were on top of their stuff before court, but no one thought to check the expiration date??? Things had EXPIRED???
I was upset afterwards. I was confused. Why??? I tried to get my hopes up that this time it could really happen. That things would finally change. We'd had an adoption specialist seeing the kids in our home every month for 3 months? 4? But we couldn't actually talk to the kids about adoption, because even though they were working to terminate parental rights and had an adoption specialist assigned to our case, the case goal had never officially been changed to adoption. So mums the word! It's been stressful. It's been awkward. Always walking that invisible line that says we can't talk to them about going back home, because we don't know that they will. And we can't talk to them about when they're adopted, because we don't know that they will be. Feeling like one is likely, but the other isn't, but we can't say to them either way, and we can't answer questions either way, because nothing is officially either way! Poor kids, they just want an answer.... and so do we.
We left court in June with no answers. The TPR petition has been removed because it is expired and they're supposed to be working on a new one, we'll have a review hearing in July, and a new TPR court date in August. Visits remain the same. Nothing has changed. Still at a standstill with a TPR court date in the future dangling like a carrot in front of us saying that eventually these kids will be adopted here. Just wait.
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We had court again in July, but this one being scheduled as a "review hearing" we didn't expect anything to happen at this one. Figured they'd just talk about whether or not people got paperwork filed in time for the next hearing the following month in August. Expecting nothing to happen, my husband went to work that day as normal. He didn't ask off from work to attend court this time, it's just a review hearing. I waited around expecting to find out the next day whether or not things were set for our court date in August to happen, or if our August court date would be postponed because paperwork wasn't filed in time for that date to work out.
Nope, not what happened. At this hearing, where we expected nothing to change, everything changed. Everything!!!
Long story short, instead of talking about terminating more parental rights to these kids, they are now talking about possibly restoring some parental rights to them that were already previously terminated.
All three of these guys who came to join us a few months back might be going back home; the youngest one who has never been in care before, and the older two who had been in care multiple times when they were younger. All three are officially on a path now towards leaving us. Our case no longer an adoption specialist assigned to it. Unsupervised visits should be starting soon, and my husband and I expect to hear a visit plan towards trial home placement once those start.
I was upset after the hearing in June. I was upset and confused and maybe somewhat angry. Angry to have gotten my hopes up again that things would finally change and we could move forward towards adopting these guys. And it didn't happen! Why God???
And then there was the July hearing we didn't even attend because we expected nothing to change, but then everything changed. Upset and confused again? Sure!! But angry? No, not this time. I was heartbroken and cried a lot, especially that first day after getting the news. But by the weekend I was talking with my husband and... And it was different! We're heartbroken, but there's peace. I'm looking back over what has happened so far all these months with this case and I'm seeing God's hand in it! Why??? Why does He want the case to turn back this way right now? I don't know! But this is Him! He has brought us to where this case is right now. And where it is right now brings the real possibility of them leaving us.
God is good, and why He does what He does, I don't know. But that change in us after court is a good change. And that peace that we have is a peace that makes no sense. And us getting on board for reunification AGAIN is something I never ever wanted to do, and yet here we are. God has a plan and He has a purpose, and only a week and a half after everything changed, baby sister was born. And the most amazing thing happened, birth parents invited us to all meet her at the hospital; so we did:
